The brave adventurers make their way to the winery. After a brief search within the main area, they are attacked by druids and vine-blights. Hadrioul becomes entangled (twice), Honu makes quick work of one druid, Krill decides to go hunting for druids by himself, Maulduk slays druids and skewers vine-blights and Seisha gets into a name-calling contest with a female druid (and slices off the offending druid’s head).
Full write-up
The druids were right.
Darn those imperialistic, colonial capitalist bastards! Those bourgeoise winemakers had taken the means of production for their own greedy purposes. I had never realized the sinister depth to which to capitalist pigs have taken advantage of us, the herbaceous proletariat.
My heart gladdens when I recall the inspiring words of the Babbling Druid: “You plants have nothing to lose but your chains. We have a world to win. Botanical life of all kingdoms, unite!”
Yes, I admit that I was so caught up in these thoughts, that I made a great mistake.
As the vine-blight on watch duty, I didn’t notice the mercenaries sneak into the winery until it was too late. Oh, I had heard all the rumors about the winemakers hiring plant-killers to do their dirty work, but I didn’t really believe them.
Those hired pruners came to take us for harvest. There was that sneaky guy with the bow that shot Ash! Then that wicked woman who shot Cherry! A terrifying tortoise-like guy came in and magicked Fern! A suspicious degenerate used fire to destroy Linden! Not only did they kill all my beloved comrades, they mocked us by doing so in alphabetical order!
After they had killed my friends, then the big, scary guy came in…looking very hungry. I had hoped that he was simply a carnivore, but to our tremendous woe, he was an omnivore.
Myrtle, one of our druid friends, managed to entangle the suspicious degenerate. Then the wicked woman ran up the stairs to threaten Magnolia, our other druid friend. Well, Magnolia blasted the wicked woman back down the stairs. Myrtle’s magic caused the degenerate to come crashing onto the wicked woman. Haha! They deserved that!
Our valiant attempt at a counterattack sputtered when the big, scary guy sprouted wings and flew up to the balcony. He whacked Magnolia, then he chased after Myrtle. I quickly ducked back into the hallway to avoid being seen.
Myrtle went down the hallway with the big, scary guy behind her. Oakley and Orrin tried to come to her assistance. Sadly, the big, scary guy cut down Myrtle. Meanwhile, the suspicious degenerate had the audacity to cast a bonfire on Orrin. The wicked woman sent a few blasts through the door as well. Then, to my utter horror, the big, scary guy skewered, in one single motion, Oakley and Orrin – like some sort of vegetable shish kabob!!!
I turned and ran down the stairs. You might think I was retreating, but I was really trying to warn the Babbling Druid about this terrible disaster. Honestly, really, truly!
From the ground floor, I saw that the terrifying tortoise-like guy was doing that horrible magic thing again. This time, he got Poppy the druid. Then the tortoise-like guy and the wicked woman went after Primrose. Oh, poor Primrose. She was completely destroyed. Even worse, I heard the wicked woman talking about pickling or something. Has she no shame at all?
Finally, I saw the Babbling Druid running bravely through the halls! I rejoiced, knowing that he would save us! Then, I saw the sneaky guy with the bow stick a bunch of arrows in him and stab him.
When the Babbling Druid collapsed to the ground, I realized that I was the last one left. I tried to escape, but the suspicious degenerate blocked my way. He shot a firebolt right into my chest.
Well, I tell you, I was ready to give him a big whipping! I rolled up my vines, and was about to throw him the biggest punch you’d ever seen a vine-blight throw…
And then the sneaky guy with the bow hit me…and well, here I am. Reed, the vine-blight, brought low by those damn imperialistic capitalist bastards!
If any of my fellow plants hear these words, remember, the Babbling Druid’s wise words: “Capital is dead labor, which, vampire-like, lives only by sucking living labor, and lives the more, the more labor it sucks.”
*Academic Note: These words were recorded by an unnamed scholarly cleric via a “Speak with Dead” incantation upon a vine blight.
